I Watched My Brain Turn Ashtray

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For the Reasons I Don’t Like Talking About Before We Met.

I have a worried mind, but you always take the time to make sure I’m fine.
I know it’s hard to love through accusations of actions from people of my past,
But I remember you telling me that you felt like the worst people got the best version of you.

I wonder how many lovers wish they met when they were younger.
What it would be like if they met before their dreams were stressful,
and before they found out how easily words can be fiction.

Good months break down to weeks,
But our love is still sturdy.
Sometimes it’s just not saying much and holding on until we can get out of bed.
Sometimes it’s accidentally kissing your teeth when you are singing to me.

I’ve been appreciating you a lot lately.
I know we’ve been pretty lazy,
but I don’t mind blaming it on the weather.
We are still young in our endeavors
And you know I’m down for whatever.
I know that this will get better
And I’m fine waiting with you,
even if it takes forever.

Smile Good.

Leave your wrists open
While keeping blood inside your skin.
You poses the strength within to cleanse the stains of impressionable sins.
With a sacrament of gin,
You shed fear like an article of clothing and let me in.
It is that same fear that manifests loathing and restrains you from growing.

Feel your throat clear from suffocation
And guide your respiration into meditation.
Just be patient.
See the relation of conversation and medication.
Adjust the orientation of the knot in your brain until it loosens.
There are illusions in translation of intention and perception
The speed of life is at your discretion
So smile like adolescence
Look for the bit of you that’s kind
And climb the fences in your mind

What you seek to find has been in your grasp
Since you’ve been skipping class and picking dandelions out of the grass.
So stay out past the street lights
Despite the bugs that bite.
Grass stains will wash off your pants
So don’t forget how to dance
Until you have to sneak words
In between deep breaths for air.
No matter how far you roam
You will hear the echo of your name
And know that you’re welcome home.

Minnesota Oak Trees

We calmly lose our minds between the oak and pines
Watching the skies through kaleidoscope eyes.
With no reason to hide, we bring our bedroom outside. 
Don’t bother my tears that soak a lake into the covers. 
My head on your stomach just feels like the kinship of my mother.
The half moon rises as it gets colder and
You know where to find that safe spot on my shoulder. 
Constellations reflect off our pupils that are hungry for light
As we trade footsteps with animals throughout the whole night.
Leaving our heart at the fire, we share our love songs with strangers.
We dig our own spot deep into nature and live with the endangered. 
Those whose hearts are greater and always return the favor
And I understand why you never want to leave
So I sit with you and wipe my nose on my sleeve.
We keep on singing until it is no longer dark
And I understand why it’s home at harmony park.

morning breath kisses

Never did I think I would find woman worthy of this prayer.

You’re as beautiful as cursive and a leg crossed in a chair.

You kiss me in a way that leaves me searching for air.

The way we’re cold on the stairs

Smoking cigarettes in our underwear or sometimes nothing at all.

It’s not fair for your friends that are quiet when you kiss me

But I earn it when tears can’t stay in my eyes when you’re singing.

Staying up late swinging while we’re spinning,

You moved your way in my ribs,

Dug inside my heart and built a place to live.

I pray that you receive all that I can give

and that your love continues to make me feel like a kid

Making Out Under the Bleachers

I just seem to regress
Back to times of recess
When she said she didn’t get tagged
But I know I caught the small of her back
I scraped across her dress and felt what
Seemed like a dream.
Soft skin on hardened bones.
I think of it on long rides home.
Blacked out rides on my bicycle to your place
To taste the warmth of whiskey when I see your face.
Riding home to you my darlin
With baseball cards in my spokes
Peddling with all of my might.
I’ll wake up your neighbors
To the sound that you like
When I’m coming in real late to tuck you in
And you kiss me despite my mouth being covered in gin.
I hear the crowed cheer while we kiss under the bleachers.
Skipping class and pissing off our teachers.
You remind me of a sweeter time.
When my heart was pure and being in love was perfectly fine.