I just seem to regress
Back to times of recess
When she said she didn’t get tagged
But I know I caught the small of her back
I scraped across her dress and felt what
Seemed like a dream.
Soft skin on hardened bones.
I think of it on long rides home.
Blacked out rides on my bicycle to your place
To taste the warmth of whiskey when I see your face.
Riding home to you my darlin
With baseball cards in my spokes
Peddling with all of my might.
I’ll wake up your neighbors
To the sound that you like
When I’m coming in real late to tuck you in
And you kiss me despite my mouth being covered in gin.
I hear the crowed cheer while we kiss under the bleachers.
Skipping class and pissing off our teachers.
You remind me of a sweeter time.
When my heart was pure and being in love was perfectly fine.
Slow dancing in the living room with my hand sliding in to the back of your skirt.
Your underwear are as soft as the words I whisper into your ear.
You smile and create some distance with your wrists connected around my neck.
With a step back I bring you closer and we keep the dance in slow motion.
It feels like God is our chaperone and I don’t want to get pulled out by my ear.
I’m comfortable here at this distance.
I gave you clear motive for my intents.
I can handle you hanging onto me like a necklace
And my hands placed above your waist seven inches from breathless.
I catch myself in a deep conversation with you after laying in silence with you in bed.
Awake at five and the morning and too comfortable to fall asleep or to speak.
You can only hear my heartbeat and I can only tell that your hair smells sweet.
A part of me worries that I’m keeping you up but when I roll over you do too.
There’s not a whole lot to do but with you it seems alright to just exist.
I don’t try to impress and you don’t try to resist, it’s just simple.
I came over to your place just to fall asleep and the sun came up with no more secretes to keep
Adding by subtracting.
Filling what I’m lacking.
Finger tips are tracking
Making love while laughing,
Dimples that I’m lapping.
Toe knuckles cracking.
Gliding never snagging.
Just sliding into white space.
I drink to make cigarettes taste better
But I fear that if I speak too loud I will cough.
Breaking the bliss with the scorn of my sickness.
I’ve tried hard to change but I’m a witness
To the way I’ve dealt with depression
You can tell by the way that I carry myself
And the way it has affected my health.
It has caught up to me like a tortious.
It is the inspiration I have needed to write.
It is a shame that my downfall is my loving plight.