I Watched My Brain Turn Ashtray


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Marvin the Martian

Everyone’s fucking everyone else but it’s alright.
If I get the chance to fuck myself over, I just might.
I really do feel like I’m out of sight
Way up there with my little light
Heavy hot back seat cars
Keep on rockin under these bright stars
I can’t quite see it here from Mars
But if I could catch a ride I guess it’s not that far
Because it really does sound like a lot of fun
I just quite haven’t found that anyone.


As beer drips off my bottom lip on to the couch,

I’m reminded of a few summers ago at my mothers house. 
The beer only threads the needle
But the way I feel keeps the string steady. 
I was longing for someone who wasn’t there. 
Someone who despite what they said, didn’t care. 
I’m thinking of missed encounters
And pulling the blankets up to my neck. 
It’s hard to be alone when you don’t want to be. 
It’s harder to break a heart that wasn’t meant to be. 
I’m happy with who I am
But rarely with where I’m at. 
A quarter full beer rests on the table
While I try to remember how to act. 
Lust leaves my mouth all day
While I think about love at night
But it doesn’t matter how I feel tonight
Tomorrow I’ll always feel alright. 

Journal entry

I love when I gently slip into sleep. 

When you don’t realize your eye lids are slouching 
And your thoughts merge into dreams. 
My eyes open as gently as they shut
And thoughts rise to the surface of my pupils. 
The lucidity and nostalgic easy of mind is a beauty I cannot hold.
I can only describe it. 

No label

I fall in love knowing it will end. 

I kiss knowing their lips will touch others. 
I fall asleep with people fully aware that they will leave in the morning. 
I’m not thinking about what I could have
Or what I feel that I deserve. 
The only thing I’ll ever really know is how I feel right now. 
I don’t see the point in denying what is undoubtedly right in front of me.  


If you get close to me prepare to fall in love. 

Just be ready to project that love outward. 
Please for your own sake, don’t hold on to me. 
Refract that light and stop being such a coward. 

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