Can You Feel for Ten Minutes

by kuylerquijas

My teeth are numb
And I’ve run out of fun.
What have I become?
They tip the bottle for me
And I try to feel less lonely
But I still feel like bone and meat.
I get handed some fire
And I smoke to find desire
But I am only becoming a liar.
She starts to take off my pants
And I can’t hold more than a glance.
I’ve lost all sense of romance.
I can’t seem to go sober,
For fear of the hangover.
I hear them echo poser.
I try to get drunk
And I grab the blunt
Until puke is all down my front.
When I wake up I still feel nothing.
Is there hope I’ll feel something?
Or am I an addict still clutching.
I can’t answer anything I ask.
I can’t stop living in the past.
I can’t put down my fucking glass.
“She didn’t love you man.”
As if I give a damn.
She didn’t even know my plan.
These drugs are for you
And everything we never went through.
I miss when I had no clue.
And you cheated to paint me blue.
I can’t say you ever knew
That I only wanted to be with you
But none of that matters anyways.
I’ll self medicate to make it through the days
And hope to see you in the curling waves.
I’ll live a life of regret
And keep telling myself, “I need a fucking cigarette.”