Drinking 40’s in your car on Christmas Eve
She only wants me when I’m home.
There was a time before the distance that I saw fear in her eyes
But now I rarely see them.
As we sat in her car drinking 40’s she asked me something.
With the tremor shaking your throat, you asked if I would be leaving.
Honestly I thought I was but my emotions are still in Davenport.
I often long to go back to when I was nervous to touch her.
It took three times to make me fearless to fuck her.
She was looking for a lover and I wasn’t.
Back then I thought I had the power
But now I’m wondering if she too cries in the shower.
I know we will both drink until we forget each other
But in a few months I will come home.
When I do, will I still recognize her fear of dying alone?
Will she be the same lover who casts her pain in stone?
As I’m writing this in her perspective now,
I know now that strength comes daily.
In the end, unguided love will take you higher than drugs
And smash you harder when you smoked your last rock.
As introspection leads to questions,
My fear of deception seems to be something to mention.