It’s alright but it’s not very bright

by kuylerquijas

I think the thing is that I wish you didn’t see my weakness.
That I could have blinded you from pointless jealousy
And tied cloth over your eyes every other week when I’m heartless.
It’s a notion that I can’t speak
At least not to you.
If I felt close to my friends I’d tell them
But instead I’ll cook dinner with a six pack of beer.
I’ll listen to a lot of sad songs wishing I had it that bad.
Mostly that I could be beautifully hurt in a way that justifies my dispassion
But I just can’t complain.
No matter how much I wish for rain,
It just stays cloudy.
I don’t know why I’m destructive at 21
And I’m not sure why I bothered conjuring this.
It’s the same old sad story of my other half trying to keep it together
While I play with the strings like a fence.
I’d tell you if I could only make sense.
I only regret this in past tense.
I’ll leave the stove on and let it simmer on my vacation.
I’ll just zip up my bags with my A/C on high over summer break
And I think it’s just to see how much you can take.